Caution: Sexy Vampire Crossing

So anyway my cousin has gotten into the habit of stopping by between school and work. She has hours to kill, homework to do and we have the food and television that help her to fill those hours and avoid doing the homework. She, unfortunately, is very like me in many respects especially in that she shares the attitude of why write the paper today, when I can stay up the night before it is due and slap it together in a half assed way, possibly even waiting till after it was due and talking the professor into giving extra time. Procrastination, laziness and a general disdain for the formal education structure wrapped up in one person to ill effect.

So my cousin is sitting on the couch not studying and I'm parked at the computer killing things in some virtual universe or another when I hear the phrase "Sexy Vampires" come from the television.

Now I've gotten pretty good at tuning out the television. If I pay to much attention I find myself commenting on the terrible commercials or the terrible characters the over acting, the news items that aren't news, the comedy that isn't funny or just the just plain idiotic situations that people tend to get themselves into on these shows. These are things that can, if I give them too much of my attention, make me pretty crazy. So I focus on the computer and pay them no mind, but there are some things that a man cannot ignore and chief amongst those is the opportunity to see sexy vampires.

My cousin started laughing and said, "now you look."

Of course I looked. Just the phrase sexy vampires conjures up images in the minds. One thinks of beautiful women with incredible curves wearing the very best that Fredericks of Hollywood or Victoria's secret has to offer. Sure they bight and kill men, but they do this while wearing very, very little clothing. A man cannot resist this. The only thing that would have me looking at the television any quicker was if they used the phrase "sexy lesbian vampires." I could quite possibly get whiplash turning my head to see how they would portray sexy lesbian vampires. That would be some good marketing.

So of course my cousin goes to have a chuckle with my mother about how I almost had an "experience death" on my video game trying to see the sexy vampires. Apparently she doesn't understand that half nekkid womens top the list of geek interests. Half nekkid vampires or aliens are of course even better. It is like having chocolate sauce and whipped cream on your ice cream. It only makes it better.

Anyway I have no Idea what the show is, and I'll probably never watch it, but I felt it was necessary to issue this warning to my fellow gamers. They may need to turn off their televisions while they are busy in the virtual world. They risk their virtual lives and their neck muscles. Be warned.

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