Thursday, January 19, 2006

Conflicted

So I'm oddly conflicted. It has come to my attention that the monster mega corporation Starbucks is moving into the neighborhood. Normally I would rant and rave about how this is destroying local businesses. I would decry the entry of another McJob site. I might lie about how I would never pay an outrageous price for coffee. (I have no problem slapping down five dollars for a monster mocha that is going to keep me wired well into next week). I should probably mention Naomi Klein somewhere in the rant.

So what makes me pause? Location, Location, Location.

starfish is moving into a space that last housed a Christian Science Reading room.

Why does this appeal to me? Let me explain. I might be agnostic, but I've learned to see the value in organized religions. Churches build community and foster charity. Churches host important social needs like youth groups and AA meetings. They do a pretty good job at the education business and I hear that churches are a good place to pick up women.

I'm not a fan of Christian Scientists. The entire no medicine bothers me. I like doctors. I like medicine. I like vicodin (but that is a different story). I like Immunizations and the eradication of things like small pox and polio. It bothers me when I hear stories of parents refusing to seek medical treatment for their children. It bothers me when a person says they are going to "pray on it" and that is all they intend to do. I understand that people have faith. I just want em to send their kids to the doctor when they get sick.

So the idea of a monster commercial venture stepping into this shell of a church and wiping it's stain from our neighborhood makes me smile. Sure the employees will work part time for a little over minimum wage. Sure the place will be filled with Beverly teenagers (an especially evil variety of teenager). Sure it will probably destroy at least one of the local coffee shops if not all three. Still it gives the finger to these anti medicine bastards and that can't be all bad. (And they make a better mocha than at least two of the three local shops).

Finally I would like to put forth an equation of sorts: The Popularity of Starbucks * The number of schools in the area + divorce rate = Single moms at starbucks during the day. I may have to change my sleeping habits.

More Laters

1 Comments:

Blogger portuguesa nova said...

You'd be real surprised how quick you change your tune regaridng the evilness of Starbucks when your nearest coffee shop options are limited to the Walmart cafeteria, the BP gas station or Red Lobster.

Now the Walmart cafeteria I think is where you're most likely to find single women...not of the Beverly "I've got some good alimony coming in and can afford $8 coffees" type, but when you've gotta' save money, you've gotta save money, and most single mom's have gotta' save money.

Still, I understand what this means, and it makes me a little sad. I know that southsiders are inherently non-Starbucks types and I know that Duncan Donuts is the coffee shop of choice where my southsider pals live.

10:30 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home