New World Orders
When I eventually take over the world, as per the Master Plan (to take over the world),I will of course implement many arbitrary rules that suit whims or personality quirks. I mean what is the point of global domination if I cant exercise my absolute powers capriciously. So after a recent visit to a steak restaurant and not quite drooling over the female wait staff I've come up with some new rules, for my future new world.
Women will wear jeans during the fall and winter whenever possible. Summer dresses will, of course, remain warm weather optional (required) but when a chill hits the air I want denim everywhere!
Why, one might ask, do I require this. Well it's quite simple. Every butt looks good in jeans. It may be that I was fortunate enough to be in the presence of attractive people. It may be that my perspective is warped by some formula that might be expressed in terms like :If n = number of days since last female contact and a = attractiveness factor then a = n + 5 * (blood alcohol * 100) (so if you blow .08 then the alcohol factor would be 8). One might note that alcohol certainly does play a part in this equation, but while out at the steak restaurant my booze intake = 0. Make whatever assumptions about the value of for n, that seem appropriate.
Men may wear jeans as they see fit. I wont be checking them out, but if I were id say that most men wear there jeans in such a way so as to show off way to much butt cleavage while at the same time making it look like they are walking around with a load in their drawers. Actually in my new world pants makers will be required to make jeans for man that sit at the hip and have the crotch appropriately raised so as to define the rear, rather than leave the impression of dump in the pants.
Men will also be required to wear their shirts tucked in when wearing these hip riding jeans, sparing us the entire plummers crack problem.
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Women will wear jeans during the fall and winter whenever possible. Summer dresses will, of course, remain warm weather optional (required) but when a chill hits the air I want denim everywhere!
Why, one might ask, do I require this. Well it's quite simple. Every butt looks good in jeans. It may be that I was fortunate enough to be in the presence of attractive people. It may be that my perspective is warped by some formula that might be expressed in terms like :If n = number of days since last female contact and a = attractiveness factor then a = n + 5 * (blood alcohol * 100) (so if you blow .08 then the alcohol factor would be 8). One might note that alcohol certainly does play a part in this equation, but while out at the steak restaurant my booze intake = 0. Make whatever assumptions about the value of for n, that seem appropriate.
Men may wear jeans as they see fit. I wont be checking them out, but if I were id say that most men wear there jeans in such a way so as to show off way to much butt cleavage while at the same time making it look like they are walking around with a load in their drawers. Actually in my new world pants makers will be required to make jeans for man that sit at the hip and have the crotch appropriately raised so as to define the rear, rather than leave the impression of dump in the pants.
Men will also be required to wear their shirts tucked in when wearing these hip riding jeans, sparing us the entire plummers crack problem.
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posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 3:22 AM
6 Comments:
http://www.jengajam.com/r/crack-spackle-crack
For men who just won't tuck in their shirts....
The real truth about the spackle product is the part where the guy peels it off his hind end and sticks it to the wall. That is a plummers crack sort of guy.
Rich:
My thoughts exactly. It was endearing to see him stick his now hairy, little spackle patch to the wall.
The reason why men dont look good in pants is mainly on the fact most men have no ass to speak of. All so to have a "hip hugging" jean for men is insane. Once again most males dont have any hip unless they have extra pounds. It sounds to me someone has a school bus driver butt. All so the term "dump in the pants" has been used for years.
didnt like my comment????
Might be a delay / lag in the time between comment and the time ti shows. There have been no deletions that I'm aware of. Or are we talking about response time?
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