Baby Plastic

So this child ought to emerge from the sister in law any day now. While I am happy for the parents, the fact that they live with us, makes me a little less than thrilled about the likelihood of soon to be screaming ravenous crying eating and pooping machine that we will all call, "aww what a pretty baby girl." Since the emergence of said creature is so close, a shower was thrown by the mother to be's friends and relatives where in she receive a whole ton of baby stuff, at least ninety percent of which was plastic.

I theorize that we have become so dependent on petroleum that should we ever lose our production ability people wont know what to do with their children as they wont have all the plastic stuff we have created to wall in their world. Clothing diapers stroller cribs. Ointment, ear cleaner, monitor car seat. Stuffed animals, noise making toys, things that spin just out of reach and things to drool on and spit on while sitting for food. The high chair. The booster seat when baby gets bigger. Baby's first picture book and the markers she will sue to color the walls. Everything and anything we now use to take care of baby is made of plastic and a lot of it is sitting in boxes by the Christmas tree.

There in lies my complaint we now have Christmas Plastic and Baby plastic and very little room to move. The cats are stuck in the basement because they eat Christmas Plastic. The baby plastic needs to be moved into soon to be parent's room which needs to be lightened of a thing or two.

So I declare the Christmas celebration in this house to be over and everything comes down. Let us have room to breathe before the baby plastic multiplies. Oh and it will. The toys double then quadrupled and every one comes over to see the new baby and they all come bearing plastic baby stuff. Soon every room in the house will be filled to the ceiling with baby.

I must escape soon or get a lock for my bedroom door. None shall enter to store their plastic!

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