Zip! Zap! Kapowie!
So my aunt bought me a copy of How to Be a Superhero: Your Complete Guide to Finding a Secret Headquarters, Hiring a Sidekick, Thwarting the Forces of Evil, and Much More!! by Doctor Metropolis. At first I thought OMGWTFBBQ (Oh My God. What the explicative. Barbecue) (Shy added the BBQ thing. I'm not sure why.) I wondered how I could ever attain global domination if there is a motivational speaker type guy out there organizing the Super Heroes. Then I noticed that there is a final chapter that asks the question, "Have you considered that you might be evil?" Do Dr. Metropolis understands that without the evil guys to stomp on the super hero is just a muscle bound freak in tights how likes to say vaguely reassuring things like, "For Great Justice," or "The Righteous will always Triumph!" They are self important bores with out people like me making a Super Secret Master Plan (to take over the world). My Master Plan (to take over the world) is so Super Secret that I constantly update it on the internet where no one will ever find it. Ain't that some of the old purloined letter.
One may wonder why a person bent on global domination and all that evil sort of stuff didn't try to stop Christmas. Strange Logic. See stopping the commercial exploitation of religious holidays really would be an act of good. By allowing multi national mega corporations to suck every last dime out of the hordes of seasonal shoppers, I am in fact allowing much that is corrupt and wrong to flourish. People over spend. They go into debt. They skip paying heating bills because they know the utilities wont go off during the winter. We live well beyond our means and then when it all comes crashing down we blame society and call the television psychologists to help make it all better. Tis the season to Ferment guilt, abolish fiscal solvency and deride all those who just don't have the "Christmas Spirit." Man I'm glad this (explicative deleted) is over. I cant wait to take down the tree and let the cats have the run of the house again.
I did get some pretty cool stuff though. I like stuff. I blame my parents and Dr. Phil.
Merry Christmas to the Christians.
The Rest of us Heathens can celebrate the end of The Madness.
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One may wonder why a person bent on global domination and all that evil sort of stuff didn't try to stop Christmas. Strange Logic. See stopping the commercial exploitation of religious holidays really would be an act of good. By allowing multi national mega corporations to suck every last dime out of the hordes of seasonal shoppers, I am in fact allowing much that is corrupt and wrong to flourish. People over spend. They go into debt. They skip paying heating bills because they know the utilities wont go off during the winter. We live well beyond our means and then when it all comes crashing down we blame society and call the television psychologists to help make it all better. Tis the season to Ferment guilt, abolish fiscal solvency and deride all those who just don't have the "Christmas Spirit." Man I'm glad this (explicative deleted) is over. I cant wait to take down the tree and let the cats have the run of the house again.
I did get some pretty cool stuff though. I like stuff. I blame my parents and Dr. Phil.
Merry Christmas to the Christians.
The Rest of us Heathens can celebrate the end of The Madness.
More Laters
posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 4:24 AM
6 Comments:
So Rich - what is your evil super hero name?
the book sounds great
i'd like to hear what idea you come up with
i liked "dr. chaos," but then someone whose evil scheme apparently involved storing hydrochloric acid in the subway system already used that name a few years ago.
"Dr. Phil" would be good too, but that one has already been used as well.
I'm Still working on the name Dr. Do Nothing just doesn't sound right.
Would I be a dork if I said.... "Dr. Do Little" is taken as well? (if the answer is yes- then I didn't just say that)
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