unchecked religion

I’ve been meaning to write this for a while, so here it is. If anything other than Christmas music absolutely drives me freakin batty, it’s religion gone unchecked (ok, so there are many things that drive me batty, but let us stay focused here). The phenomenon of seeing faces in everyday objects is natural for humans. We’ve seen faced in the mountains of mars, due to the placements of buttons and levers on toasters, lightswitches, and air conditioners, and even the tail lights of cars look something like angry eyes. So why on earth do people spend money on grilled cheese sandwiches that look like Mary? Why is such a big deal made about a water spot on a church window? Perhaps I should sell the wood panel in my bathroom. The knot in the wood looks like Jesus if you think about it.

Are people so desperate for something to believe in, they’ll believe in the power of cheese? Are people so uncertain about religion that even cheese is proof of its existence? It pains me to think such things. I can’t comprehend using such BS as support for something I believe in. what’s next? An ebay-ed printer that leaves ink splotches in the shape of a grail on the top right corner of the page?

The other side of seeing God is seeing the face of satan in the smoke from the twin towers or the oil fires in Iraq. Such incidents must be due to the power of evil eh? The evil is present! Run away!….yeah, whatever. some idiots, so angry at others for believing in religions which differed from their own, attacked the twin towers due to their own egotistical, self rightous belief that their actions would take them to heaven. i havent seen any "wish you were here" post cards yet, have you? pussy whipped by religion is more like it.

Now I can’t deny that I can make out the faces people see, but as I said, it’s a natural tendency for humans to create faces. And I do see them. But I also see a water stain, a grilled cheese sandwich, a knot in the wood and so forth. Although I was raised to believe that God is always with me—that God is everywhere, I wasn’t raised to believe that Mary would choose to reveal herself in a grilled cheese sandwich. Recently, I saw this picture on Ebay:

(the mother mary popcorn with all of the other completely normal popcorn)

ok, so if i really look at it, i can see Mary (who for some reason, has angel wings) holding the baby jesus--or a loaf of bread. you decide.

Although the man posting admitted that he thought it was a joke, many people posted serious questions about the popcorn in question. I guess people will buy into anything. The most recent divine revelation I have seen posted about was this image of Jesus in a tooth Xray:

What a perfect smile....if that were my dentist, i'd snatch up my xrays and run away.

What was my point again? Oh. If you see an image of God or Mary in anything during the holiday season, don’t eat it. Write to the Vatican, get it certified as a relic, and make lots of $.