Carvable Plastic Pumpkins

I'm a hypocrite. I can wax fatalistic about the state of the world and advertising then go in the same breath and talk about Neopets or Video games and other time users. I hate consumer culture, but I want a T - shirt with the old school Transformers Logo on it (Deceptecon of course). I understand and accept that the world isn't fair then I go and bitch about how the Social Security Administration is jerking around the mother. I'm not sure if I can believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast, but that's only because I'm not exactly regular with the breakfast thing. Somedays the idea of a bowl of milk just doesn't sit well with a stomach that had diet cola in it just before bed.

First I will point out my hypocrisy in this instance. Check out the Plastic Crap on this dresser. I have a Big Boy bobble head statuette for goodness sake. And Idol to fast food consumerism. I have a robot dog. I have those cheap plastic things from the museum of science and industry. Lot of crap there. I'm as much a member of the Consumer Culture as anybody. I actually like some of the commercial artwork. That said I move on.

My brother and his wife brought home these Carvable Plastic Pumpkins. The cheapest one was almost fifteen dollars or three hours of minimum wage labor (Maybe a hundred hours of Mexican sweat shop labor and who knows how many thousands of hours for Chinese labor). These aren't the grocery store special to be thrown outside in the compost heap after the holiday when they start to go bad. They are meant to last years.

So now I have to make a jack - o - lantern decision that wont last just for a month but until the day the plastic loses it's luster. (or is forgotten about in some closet). That is daunting. I'm not that good an artist. I'm not sure if I can even bring myself to mar my plastic beauty.

Then there is the little thing on the tag that says, "highly flammable." These babies burn like milk crates on a bonfire. That is to say that once they start burning they become a liquid that is on fire. It runs smokes and lights other stuff up. How many college age idiots are going to burn down a house or a dorm because they put a candle inside their highly flammable carvable plastic pumpkins.

In Summary : I like Big Boy! If I could own a full sized big boy and put em on my lawn I would. Megatron was the coolest Transformer, although Optimus Prime had the entire tractor trailer thing going for him. Watch out for plastic pumpkin porch fires.

More Laters