The Internet Meat Market
So I've been browsing through the internet dating services again. For a brief period I would browse through all of em. Check out every service and post a profile. I talked about it in my second rant on this blog. Mostly I was curious to see if there was either a) someone I recognized from the neighborhood listed or b) anyone that I knew personally. (Like for example the people I went to grade school with. While I haven't kept in touch with any of them over the years after spending nine years together as kids I'm somewhat curious). I quickly grew bored with this as I all of these services require a fee and me with an income that consists of keeping the change from errands I run for the parents. The Pay sucks and the benefits are lousy, but the hours are pretty good. So I couldn't afford to join one of these dating services. (Ok that's not entirely true I just wasn't about to ask mom if I could borrow her credit card to join a dating service. There are just some things a man can never admit to his mother). To top it off, I found that a surprising number of call girls and web cam girls use Yahoo as there personal fishing area as I talked about here.
So I stopped checking out the dating services and found other ways to waste time. I'm pretty good at it. While I suppose reading and writing may also construed as productive activities, neither are going to put food on my plate so to speak. While searching out new flash animation to share with you working people who don't have the time to sort through all the stuff out there and find only the funniest stuff and thus depend upon this service, I came across an add for a "free" internet dating service. While the skeptic in me was doubtful about a "free" service, I went looking anyway. Bees and Honey. Flies and excrement. Internet Geeks and Desperate Women. It could not be helped.
At first I thought it was all about this web cam chat room thingy. I don't have a web cam and even if I did, I find the idea of a webcam chat to be slightly disturbing. They also had a ridiculously low image size for their service. I didn't even bother to finish setting up the profile.
A couple weeks later they sent one of those reminder e-mails. The "You haven't stopped by us in a while. Please make a visit. Singles are waiting to meet you." Again the temptation was too much. I made the trip and found out they had increased the image size dramatically. I wouldn't have to spend hours with a photo program I didn't understand trying to resize an image to fit a specific pixel ratio. So I put up the the pie picture (of course) and another suitably silly picture, browsed through once more and then promptly forgot about the service.
So other day I have mail in my gmail box and I'm thinking, "Ah more come and join us spam." When it is in fact a young lady looking to learn more about me. So of course my ability to communicate meaningfully completely leaves me and I do just about the dumbest thing I can think of, I direct her to this website. Now, I'm not saying that I'm not proud of this site. (Ick double negative) I just think it is probably a bit much for any potentially interested parties to take in all at once. I haven't heard back from the young lady and if I were a betting man I'd lay down some pretty heavy odds against it happening.
In the days just following the receipt of said email, I once again went browsing through yahoo personals, match and webdate. (I'm not linking these sites for your own good). I was surprised to see how many people out there use 420 in their name. I can't help but wonder why. Not why do they do drugs. I understand the nuances of that pretty well. I wonder why would anyone publicly link their name to that activity. I've always found that if you are going to be a shady character then you have to put up an appearance of cleanliness and purity. I remember college kids always complaining that the police would pull them over or stop em while they were walking. I would try to explain that perhaps if they would not wear the hippy uniform, if they would try to put on a more studious appearance, if they would perhaps bathe a little more frequently, then perhaps they would have a much easier time engaging in their more shady activities. I don't think I convinced anyone.
I personally try to use the same username everywhere. If you search for uklamok, you find me. It may proclaim me as a geek, but it certainly isn't a publicly available admission to being a pot head.
In Summary: I have yet to recognize anyone one in a photo on a dating service. Upon receiving email from someone desiring to learn more about me, I probably shouldn't direct em here. Everyone knows what 420 is folks. It's time to find a new code.
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So I stopped checking out the dating services and found other ways to waste time. I'm pretty good at it. While I suppose reading and writing may also construed as productive activities, neither are going to put food on my plate so to speak. While searching out new flash animation to share with you working people who don't have the time to sort through all the stuff out there and find only the funniest stuff and thus depend upon this service, I came across an add for a "free" internet dating service. While the skeptic in me was doubtful about a "free" service, I went looking anyway. Bees and Honey. Flies and excrement. Internet Geeks and Desperate Women. It could not be helped.
At first I thought it was all about this web cam chat room thingy. I don't have a web cam and even if I did, I find the idea of a webcam chat to be slightly disturbing. They also had a ridiculously low image size for their service. I didn't even bother to finish setting up the profile.
A couple weeks later they sent one of those reminder e-mails. The "You haven't stopped by us in a while. Please make a visit. Singles are waiting to meet you." Again the temptation was too much. I made the trip and found out they had increased the image size dramatically. I wouldn't have to spend hours with a photo program I didn't understand trying to resize an image to fit a specific pixel ratio. So I put up the the pie picture (of course) and another suitably silly picture, browsed through once more and then promptly forgot about the service.
So other day I have mail in my gmail box and I'm thinking, "Ah more come and join us spam." When it is in fact a young lady looking to learn more about me. So of course my ability to communicate meaningfully completely leaves me and I do just about the dumbest thing I can think of, I direct her to this website. Now, I'm not saying that I'm not proud of this site. (Ick double negative) I just think it is probably a bit much for any potentially interested parties to take in all at once. I haven't heard back from the young lady and if I were a betting man I'd lay down some pretty heavy odds against it happening.
In the days just following the receipt of said email, I once again went browsing through yahoo personals, match and webdate. (I'm not linking these sites for your own good). I was surprised to see how many people out there use 420 in their name. I can't help but wonder why. Not why do they do drugs. I understand the nuances of that pretty well. I wonder why would anyone publicly link their name to that activity. I've always found that if you are going to be a shady character then you have to put up an appearance of cleanliness and purity. I remember college kids always complaining that the police would pull them over or stop em while they were walking. I would try to explain that perhaps if they would not wear the hippy uniform, if they would try to put on a more studious appearance, if they would perhaps bathe a little more frequently, then perhaps they would have a much easier time engaging in their more shady activities. I don't think I convinced anyone.
I personally try to use the same username everywhere. If you search for uklamok, you find me. It may proclaim me as a geek, but it certainly isn't a publicly available admission to being a pot head.
In Summary: I have yet to recognize anyone one in a photo on a dating service. Upon receiving email from someone desiring to learn more about me, I probably shouldn't direct em here. Everyone knows what 420 is folks. It's time to find a new code.
More Laters
posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 1:54 AM
2 Comments:
Hey, it's 4:20 somewhere.
Or so I have been told.
Internet dating services can be fun if you're creative. Unfortunately so many of the profiles, for men and women, are so similar to one another. Within their respective subgroups. How do you decide who you'd like to talk to based on a tiny conglomeration of pixels and words? It's a tough job, but I'm up to the task.
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