Urban Hermitage
The other day while taking my evening constitutional (that sounds so much better than taking a walk or getting my lazy {explicative deleted} in gear) I ran into someone I went to high school with. Surprisingly we were both able to conjure up each others name without much effort. This has always been a difficulty with me. The only names I really remember of people outside the family are of the people I went to grade school with. I suppose nine years (K - 8) will do that.
So anyway the man I ran into and I weren't exactly bosom buddies back in the day. We were on swim team together and may have run into each other at a few parties later in life. So I was somewhat surprised with myself as post meeting I realized that I must have talked almost non stop, covering a ton of bases in a quick couple of minutes. I hadn't realized just how much I've been depriving myself of human contact as of late.
While I live with people and interact with them on a daily basis they are my family. I've spent my life with em. I know what interests them what they want to talk about and usually their opinions on any given topic. While I share many interests with them I share very few passions. We rarely read the same books. The only movies we all like together are usually big flashy explosive filled actions shows that you don't really watch or enjoy but sit through and experience the adrenaline rush. Not much fodder for discussion.
So then there is the internet. Back in the day I use to play a lot of text based online roleplaying games. They were like chat rooms for geeks with a bit of political maneuvering and alliance making. It provided socialization without physically having to get out and actually meet with people. Back in the day I used to be very shy and introverted and that was my outlet.
Then I started working in a bar and having to interact with people on a daily basis and there was always booze to cover up any bit of nervousness. Not very long into my bar career I stopped mudding.
So after a few years of bar life I needed to dry out. This I did. Then I gave up smoking. (And took it up again and then gave it up for good). While I was doing this I spent a quite a bit of time working in a doctors office and I hated it. But it kept me interacting with people.
Then I spent three months in Macomb, ran out of money and came back to Chicago. Shortly there after, Mom had her heart attack while on vacation in Idaho. I spent a couple years taking care of her. Every time it looked like it was time for me to go and find a job again something came up with moms heath and so I've been stuck in this rut for a very long while.
So when I discovered blogging a few months ago it help not only for me to write, but it serves my social needs to a small extent. One gets to discuss things with like minded people. Sometimes it almost seems like having a conversation with people when you are commenting and viewing a bunch of blogs.
So reality showed its ugly head the other day and reminded me that I like to get out and do things with people and that we almost loose the practice of talking with people and just ramble on at length when you don't spend a lot of time around people.
While I'm not about to give up blogging I think I'm going to have to find something social to do with part of my time. There is also the possibility that I should probably start looking for some type of work. That has a very large amount of fear attached to it as I don't know what I'm qualified to do or capable of doing. The warehouse job years back was just plain terrible. I've never been so surrounded by mindless idiocy. I cannot work in alcohol distribution if I want to live a full life. I absolutely hated working in the doctors office, stuck in a chair answering phones all day. It's something to think about.
On a strange note by brother ordered Earth Abides and now that he is done with it I've been reading it with my breakfast every day (I keep a book in most rooms of the house) and I find some parallels between this character walking in an empty world by himself and how I've been acting in this Urban Hermitage of mine.
In summary the internet is not a substitute for human contact. You can spend every day with people and still feel lonely. Earth Abides is a pretty good read.
More Laters
So anyway the man I ran into and I weren't exactly bosom buddies back in the day. We were on swim team together and may have run into each other at a few parties later in life. So I was somewhat surprised with myself as post meeting I realized that I must have talked almost non stop, covering a ton of bases in a quick couple of minutes. I hadn't realized just how much I've been depriving myself of human contact as of late.
While I live with people and interact with them on a daily basis they are my family. I've spent my life with em. I know what interests them what they want to talk about and usually their opinions on any given topic. While I share many interests with them I share very few passions. We rarely read the same books. The only movies we all like together are usually big flashy explosive filled actions shows that you don't really watch or enjoy but sit through and experience the adrenaline rush. Not much fodder for discussion.
So then there is the internet. Back in the day I use to play a lot of text based online roleplaying games. They were like chat rooms for geeks with a bit of political maneuvering and alliance making. It provided socialization without physically having to get out and actually meet with people. Back in the day I used to be very shy and introverted and that was my outlet.
Then I started working in a bar and having to interact with people on a daily basis and there was always booze to cover up any bit of nervousness. Not very long into my bar career I stopped mudding.
So after a few years of bar life I needed to dry out. This I did. Then I gave up smoking. (And took it up again and then gave it up for good). While I was doing this I spent a quite a bit of time working in a doctors office and I hated it. But it kept me interacting with people.
Then I spent three months in Macomb, ran out of money and came back to Chicago. Shortly there after, Mom had her heart attack while on vacation in Idaho. I spent a couple years taking care of her. Every time it looked like it was time for me to go and find a job again something came up with moms heath and so I've been stuck in this rut for a very long while.
So when I discovered blogging a few months ago it help not only for me to write, but it serves my social needs to a small extent. One gets to discuss things with like minded people. Sometimes it almost seems like having a conversation with people when you are commenting and viewing a bunch of blogs.
So reality showed its ugly head the other day and reminded me that I like to get out and do things with people and that we almost loose the practice of talking with people and just ramble on at length when you don't spend a lot of time around people.
While I'm not about to give up blogging I think I'm going to have to find something social to do with part of my time. There is also the possibility that I should probably start looking for some type of work. That has a very large amount of fear attached to it as I don't know what I'm qualified to do or capable of doing. The warehouse job years back was just plain terrible. I've never been so surrounded by mindless idiocy. I cannot work in alcohol distribution if I want to live a full life. I absolutely hated working in the doctors office, stuck in a chair answering phones all day. It's something to think about.
On a strange note by brother ordered Earth Abides and now that he is done with it I've been reading it with my breakfast every day (I keep a book in most rooms of the house) and I find some parallels between this character walking in an empty world by himself and how I've been acting in this Urban Hermitage of mine.
In summary the internet is not a substitute for human contact. You can spend every day with people and still feel lonely. Earth Abides is a pretty good read.
More Laters
posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 2:32 AM
9 Comments:
1. Never understood those text role playing games--not trying to take the I'm-way-too-cool high road, either...I would've been addicted, I'm sure, as I am to everything. I do, remember, however...in a nutshell, waiting in the dorm computer lab for lots of people to stop playing them so I could check my e- mail. In a nutshell, how do they work?
2. How, oh how, did you quit smoking?
3. Being unemployed when you don't want to be sucks. Let me recommend www.idealist.org for a low paying but save-the-world-in-a-small-way (usually via filing/typing/asking strangers for money) type job. I found my current job there. I always send my resume out to postings on there when I get upset with my current job, and they I always get called back (due to the low pay/anyone who'd work for this little must be captured at once, not my impressive qualifications).
Eeek. Long comment.
Word to the wise: don't try to write coherent sentences 10 minutes after you've woken up. Sorry about the sometimes unintelligible post up there.
Nice post.
I always find it interesting to know the reasons why other people blog. I have also taken it up only a couple of months ago and find myself evolving into it. If that makes sense.
muds were neat. i just checked and sadly, phidar isn't around...or at least not at the moment.
social interaction can be bothersome. i like my room.
I tend to agree with Shy. I try to be perky at work but this time of year I tend to hibernate in my room, which is the only place I turn on my heat, because I'm frugal not cheap (there is a difference).
i've been rather anti-social lately too. often negative encounters have been encouraging this behavior. i'd suggest the neighborhood bar, but obviosuly that isn't the right option for you. actually, i wonder if i'm in the "bar life" stage you've already been in.
Nova -- The first time I effectively quit (for a period of eight months) was through the use off Wellbutrin (also known as Zyban). I personally didn't like the way it made me feel so i went off of it a week after i had stopped smoking. Youa re suppose to stay on it for six months. from what I understand the drug actually has a better success rate with women. My brother is on it now and it is working for him. Then I went back to bar work and you cannot be a non smoker in a small town bar. So the second time I quit was after a trip to idaho where I had to hike a mile away from my aunts house to have a cigarrete. It seriously cut down how many I wanted a day. plus as I had no job and money was pretty tight I couldnt buy em any more so I just went cold turkey after that. I dont recommend that method. If you go cold turkey it is good to have things to occupy your time all day. I had video games.
Shy and Diva -- I like my me time. I like to shut the door and get away. It is nice however to have a physcail person to speek with on occassion who isnt your mother brother or father.
A and Tom -- thanks for stopping by. A -- I think weblogs are just a natural extension of newsgroups and message boards give each auther a little more control of their content. Tom -- Small town bars are more of a way of life. Meat market clubbing (which i used to do back in the day) is more about the half naked people and dancing and sex I guess.
yeah clubbing is... well i guess it just is. i often just stand against the wall anyway. neighborhood bars are a lot more comfortable.
For a slightly different perspective on why people blog, go to this link.
http://disorganised.blogspot.com/2004/10/who-do-we-blog-for-blogging-provides.html#comments
It is quite an interesting theory / observation.
Post a Comment
<< Home