Something About A Baseball Team

Even in my own private world where the television is rarely in earshot and most of my news is filtered through Fark, I haven't been able to avoid hearing about the fact that the Chicago White Sox are in the playoffs or something.

Where ever I go, especially here on the south side, people are talking about it. I turn on the talk radio station for a bit this afternoon and all dude can talk about is baseball. Even my mother felt compelled to share the news with me the other day. I asked her why she felt that it was necessary to bring up that topic with me. She assumed that, just because it was a Chicago team, I might be interested out of some sort of Civic pride. I'll be thirty one this December and the woman still hasn't figured out that I'm a geek. This is surprising, especially when one considers that unlike Ernest Cline who wrote that bit of genius, my geekhood is all surface.

I like Dr. Who, cartoons, Terry Pratchett Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games, and KOL. I've been known to participate in William Gibson's message board. I may have ranted a time or two at Literary Kicks. (though those discussions may well be deeply buried in the archives). Given unlimited funds I would buy chainmail tailored to fit me by a professional. I could see myself wasting a lot of money on really sharp pointy things (swords, morning stars etc) that I would know very little about and never actually learn how to use. Name something geek like and I've either dabbled in it or am the dictionary definition of that particular variety of geek hood. That is who I am.


I'd like to make it clear to the world, that not only do I not care whether a Chicago team has a chance of "going all the way," I actively dislike sports. Seeing a sports figure being interviewed on the news will send me running out of the room, supresing the urge to stick my fingers in my ears and say, "I can't hear you I can't hear you." Listening to a sports figure talk is almost as bad is listening to King George II mangle the English language in that they all string together abstract ideas and they do it poorly. "We just need to bring it together and out think their "A" game, for the team, because we love the fans, you know what I'm saying?" Arrrrrggghh. No you muscle bound moron. I do not know what you are saying. You don't know what you are saying. Pick up a (explicative deleted) book. Thousands and thousands of dollars for your education. Wasted.

I know that I am in the minority. Even other geeks occasionally take a break, from the slaying dragons or working on their doctoral thesis on Robert Heinlein and the mark he left on modern science fiction, to watch "the big game" to have a beer and join in on the camaraderie. I know that it is elitist to look down on sports fans, but I cannot help myself. I just hate sports programming. I hate cities subsidizing major sporting teams with huge tax breaks. I cry out against the amount of money that is spent every year on professional sporting events and I would gladly give up my left testicle to see the monster of college sporting divorced from education.

I will not watch the play offs. I will not watch the world series, even if the White Sox go all the way. I can't do it. I won't. You can't make me.

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