No Eulogy But Living
So I was at a wake this evening. A man I worked with at Owasippe Scout Reservation, for a few summers, a number of years back, had passed away a couple nights back. I've spent the time since I first heard the news, trying to figure out what, if anything I should write about this man. I've found that my experiences are inadequate to the task, my experiences with him do not come to a fitting eulogy, but perhaps an amusing anecdote, or an idea of a memory.
For Example:
I recall on more than one occasion that we who worked for and with him, would screw up an assigned task, and do so spectacularly (in that not only did we not do what he wanted done correctly, but then he would have to deal with the aftermath of angry scoutmasters) he would tell us that we needed to get our heads cut in. After one such outburst (where I wasn't the target) I had to ask em what exactly does it mean to get ones head cut in, I was unfamiliar with the phrase. He told me it means get your shit together, but you can't say that in front of scouts and scouters.
For Example:
Every time I saw this man he was happy to see may. He always gave me the impression that he had the utmost confidence in me, that I would do whatever task he assigned to me, to the best of my ability. (This was effective. You never want to disappoint a man who has shown that much confidence in your abilities). I don't know what I ever did to give this man the impression that I was a capable leader, but he liked me from the first time he met me, and he let me know it.
For Example:
I remember him sitting at the bar drinking his coke. All around em a bunch of young fools getting annihilated, and he would come out be social visit with the old timers and drink his coke.
These aren't enough memories. A mere six to eight weeks each summer for three summers. I have lasting memories, but I can not step up to the task of remembering his life to people the way his family will. While I was counted as one of those he was always happy to see, mine will not be the stories that are his legacy , so many more were much closer to em than I.
The best I can do is to go on living my life, to try and remember the lessons he taught me, to spend one night by his casket and say yes sir you will be missed.
All the wealth of earth and heaven
For Example:
I recall on more than one occasion that we who worked for and with him, would screw up an assigned task, and do so spectacularly (in that not only did we not do what he wanted done correctly, but then he would have to deal with the aftermath of angry scoutmasters) he would tell us that we needed to get our heads cut in. After one such outburst (where I wasn't the target) I had to ask em what exactly does it mean to get ones head cut in, I was unfamiliar with the phrase. He told me it means get your shit together, but you can't say that in front of scouts and scouters.
For Example:
Every time I saw this man he was happy to see may. He always gave me the impression that he had the utmost confidence in me, that I would do whatever task he assigned to me, to the best of my ability. (This was effective. You never want to disappoint a man who has shown that much confidence in your abilities). I don't know what I ever did to give this man the impression that I was a capable leader, but he liked me from the first time he met me, and he let me know it.
For Example:
I remember him sitting at the bar drinking his coke. All around em a bunch of young fools getting annihilated, and he would come out be social visit with the old timers and drink his coke.
These aren't enough memories. A mere six to eight weeks each summer for three summers. I have lasting memories, but I can not step up to the task of remembering his life to people the way his family will. While I was counted as one of those he was always happy to see, mine will not be the stories that are his legacy , so many more were much closer to em than I.
The best I can do is to go on living my life, to try and remember the lessons he taught me, to spend one night by his casket and say yes sir you will be missed.
All the wealth of earth and heaven
posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 11:59 PM
4 Comments:
That, in itself, was beautiful.
Jim Rich photos
When I heard about his passing, I felt an uncontrollable urge to tell everybody that I work with about him. I needed people to hear his name, to know that he existed, to understand what he was like. I knew that it was an exercise in futility... my coworkers didn't and couldn't care... but I blathered on about him anyway.
I guess I was trying to make up for lost opportunities. I never actually told HIM what an influence he was.
You should write down your memories of your experiences with him and share them with the family. I bet they would find it comforting to hear about time he shared with others not family related.
I did so with the family of a friend of mine who died much too young. The family wrote me back and told me how much they appreciated hearing how their daughter was considered so special by someone outside the family circle.
Don't horde those memories :)
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