Rant The Third: Waking Up

So I get this thing in the mail one day and its not a letter from Sallie Mae politely informing me that I owe them money and have been rather lackluster in my attempts to pay them back (or at least apply for a forbearance) but something quite surprising. WIU had finally jumped on the degree completion band wagon.

At some point a few years back the American Academic Bean Counter Association got together at their annual fish fry and one was bemoaning all the costs of storing records for all these people who dropped out. Another complained that her daughter was a college drop out (to her great sorrow) but had cleaned up, done right, got a job (to her mothers great relief) and was now in a position where she really needed a college degree to advance any further in the peanut pickling industry. Bean counter number three, who was independently wealthy but worked anyway to give his life a sense of purpose, noted that private universities, like the one he attended (and of course he dropped the name because that is how the educated elite brag)were cleaning up by over charging former students for degree completion programs. And that is the true story of how all state universities saw the light.

So anyway I get this mail telling me that I might be eligible for a Bachelor of the Arts degree. This was news. The last time I was school I was studying for a degree in English Literature, but hey a plain old Liberal Arts Degree would be just about as useful in the market place. Take a look at the help wanted adds most of em say Bachelor Degree required. These guys don't really care what you studied they just want to know that you studied, that you paid your dues, that you know how to follow directions and do what you are told. That piece of paper could be the difference between working the French fry machine and being in charge of firing the French fry guy for coming in stoned (not that you could blame him).

This completely changed my focus. I stopped being so down on myself. I had a chance to improve my situation. (Not that I've applied for the program yet, but just getting informed made a huge difference). I have more credits than most people graduate with. I probably just need a Speech class and a couple upper level courses (available online). This is some pretty sweet manure.

Next we got a new cat. He isn't a kitten, but a big overweight four year old who we decided to call Milo (after Milo Minderbinder in Catch 22). Somebody must have loved this cat because he is very affectionate. It's hard to be depressed when a cat is nuzzling you and purring almost non stop.

Then I returned to reading books that make a person think. Kurt Vonnegut is very healing. Of all the writers of his generation, I think he understands the Human animal best. I also read Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris. It was interesting to see someone else's completely odd family unit.

Then I went and spent a week in the state of Michigan on the shores and in the waters of Lake Michigan. This was good. Once and a while a person needs to see people who aren't related to em. Like Vonnegut likes to say, the nuclear family really isn't enough social contact for a person. I talked I sipped beer. I lusted after half nekkind women on the beach. (I tried to avoid looking at the underage one but who can tell with everyone in such skimpy outfits. What are there parents thinking when there are people like me about gazing intently at bared flesh).

Somewhere in there our computer died a complete horrible death. I still have this windows 98 hunk of plastic, but I've been cut off from World of Warcraft video crack for some time. This is probably good.

So now I'm back and updating daily. We will see if any of the rest of the life stuff gets back on track too. I hear that the Shy has gradated and moved to a Chicago Suburb so I'll have to get in contact and we can get Shockingly Provincial back on track, loving the Midwest, ourselves and our lives and pretty much shaking our fists at all who dare oppose us.

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