A Short Plea

Dear Parents of the world,

Please teach your children that it is wrong to bring reading material into the bathroom with you. It's too late for my brothers. They don't seem to understand that other people may have to use the bathroom. They don't worry about accidently getting a brown thumbprint on the page. How hygienic can that be anyway. Just being in that room with an absorbent thing like a book can't be good. I bet they can absorb the fumes as well whatever random nastiness may accidently come their way. And who wants to pick up the newspaper or magazine someone else left behind. I almost want to don a pair of latex gloves and walk the offending reading material out to the garbage, or better yet an incinerator. Though I would not want to breath the fumes.

For them it is never a quick trip to the bathroom, but a thirty minute relaxation session, perhaps their only peaceful moment of the day. I understand that married life can be hard and some times a person might want to seek a brief respite, a little tranquility. I just think that they could do it somewhere other than in the only bathroom in the house! While the older brother doesn't live with us, I'm sure he still engages in this practice. It's wrong brother. Stop now. Do it for your children. My younger brother is a different matter. He delights in knowing that I'm standing outside earnestly awaiting my term in the room. Standing outside squeezing buttocks while my brother finishes the page or the chapter is not my idea of a good time.

So parents of the world do yourself a favor. Make a rule of no books in the bathroom. Think of it this way. We have culturally extended adolescence into the late twenties. Their is a pretty good chance you will have adult children living with you at a time in your life when your body starts falling apart one bit at a time and rapid access to the facilities can only be counted as a good thing. These adult children could be in your way. Books in bed. Books with food. (Except when eating in company, unless both parties agree to forgo conversation for reading time). Books instead of television any day. Books in lieu of sports (not exercise). Books on a park bench or under a tree (not on the beach. Tanning is bad. You will get cancer). But never, ever Books in the Bathroom.

Please parents start today, before it's too late.

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