Crackpot Theory: Coldstone Creamery Hates Their Employees
So the cousin shows up the other day and decides to kidnap me so to speak for a trip to the book store and the ice cream parlor. Perverts might abscond children with these promises, but I was fairly certain that the cousin didn't want to make a mad dash across nine states, dodging the police and pimping me out for money, (Hmm sounds kind of fun actually) and I'm bigger than her anyhow.
The bookstore was the same monstrous chain bookstore that exists in every area, with so much promise in shear volume, yet so much space wasted stacking 900 copies of the latest fad reading and a whole wall covered in the revenge of hallmark style crap. All this has nothing to do with my theory.
So then it was ice cream time. I was prepared to steel myself against the travesty that takes place while waiting in line. From previous experience I knew that some fool decided that the employees needed to be extra peppy when selling their fat and sugar concoctions. They take bad top 40's songs and TV jingles and insert ice cream wording. Example to the tune of the "Flinstones" they sing "Coldstone! Here at Coldstone!" And yes you can here the capital letters and ever single exclamation as they butcher these songs with a sort of mad glee. Find half a dozen people going through puberty with absolutely no voice training or sense of pitch and make them sing off key and call it harmony.
So when we walked in and were merely greeted by one employee saying, and rather halfheartedly at that, "Welcome to Coldstone!" I was thrown off my guard. No one was singing. The line was moving along at a decent pace. Perhaps the local manager took pity on his peons and decided they didn't need to sing. That right there is improved working conditions.
So my cousin and I get our tasty treats and proceed to sit at a table to consume them. No point rushing out to a car, the choir had been silenced. But what is this. A woman is waving a dollar in the air in anticipation of getting her desert. It goes in the tip jar. They yell, "We got a tip!" and burst in to song.
This leads me to believe that in the forty or so minutes we spent in the store prior to this outburst, no one had tipped. Now whether or not a person making your order without screwing it up and no leeway as to how much extra stuff they put into your ice cream, is not up for debate at this moment (though I must say no, this is not a tipping situation) what is on the table is this: By forcing the employees to make terrible noise each and every time they receive a tip, Coldstone Creamery has trained their clientele to avoid tipping.
They have to know this is happening. Perhaps it helps clear out the store and it is a way to keep people from hanging out in the store without bringing in additional revenue. Perhaps the owner really believe that the people who are coming in for ice cream want this "experience."
I think it is a moment of pure management evil. Give the employees the hope of making more money by placing a tip jar on the counter. Deny them raises because they make tips. Know that the songs the employees sing reduce the number of tips they receive. Have high employee turnover so they don't think about unionizing and demanding better working conditions.
Or it could just be they don't like their employees and take every opportunity to hurt them.
More Laters
The bookstore was the same monstrous chain bookstore that exists in every area, with so much promise in shear volume, yet so much space wasted stacking 900 copies of the latest fad reading and a whole wall covered in the revenge of hallmark style crap. All this has nothing to do with my theory.
So then it was ice cream time. I was prepared to steel myself against the travesty that takes place while waiting in line. From previous experience I knew that some fool decided that the employees needed to be extra peppy when selling their fat and sugar concoctions. They take bad top 40's songs and TV jingles and insert ice cream wording. Example to the tune of the "Flinstones" they sing "Coldstone! Here at Coldstone!" And yes you can here the capital letters and ever single exclamation as they butcher these songs with a sort of mad glee. Find half a dozen people going through puberty with absolutely no voice training or sense of pitch and make them sing off key and call it harmony.
So when we walked in and were merely greeted by one employee saying, and rather halfheartedly at that, "Welcome to Coldstone!" I was thrown off my guard. No one was singing. The line was moving along at a decent pace. Perhaps the local manager took pity on his peons and decided they didn't need to sing. That right there is improved working conditions.
So my cousin and I get our tasty treats and proceed to sit at a table to consume them. No point rushing out to a car, the choir had been silenced. But what is this. A woman is waving a dollar in the air in anticipation of getting her desert. It goes in the tip jar. They yell, "We got a tip!" and burst in to song.
This leads me to believe that in the forty or so minutes we spent in the store prior to this outburst, no one had tipped. Now whether or not a person making your order without screwing it up and no leeway as to how much extra stuff they put into your ice cream, is not up for debate at this moment (though I must say no, this is not a tipping situation) what is on the table is this: By forcing the employees to make terrible noise each and every time they receive a tip, Coldstone Creamery has trained their clientele to avoid tipping.
They have to know this is happening. Perhaps it helps clear out the store and it is a way to keep people from hanging out in the store without bringing in additional revenue. Perhaps the owner really believe that the people who are coming in for ice cream want this "experience."
I think it is a moment of pure management evil. Give the employees the hope of making more money by placing a tip jar on the counter. Deny them raises because they make tips. Know that the songs the employees sing reduce the number of tips they receive. Have high employee turnover so they don't think about unionizing and demanding better working conditions.
Or it could just be they don't like their employees and take every opportunity to hurt them.
More Laters
posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 2:19 AM
4 Comments:
i dont like forced cheese
its just sad
Not only was their ice cream not any better than a cut up snickers in some bryers icecream from my fridge, but it was 5x's as expenive. forget about tipping them. I didn't expect tips as a steak n shake shake maker--and they do scoop up the icecream--no soft serve there. They shouldn't expect tips as icecream scoopers---/rant
It is only ice-cream. It isn’t like I compared it to a $ 0.99 cone at McDonalds. As for singing for the tip—you’re getting paid to scoop my ice-cream. As you proudly proclaim, that is your job—much like it was mine. As you stated, you aren’t making the wages of a waitress (Rich and I both tip quite well) and I don’t like feeling obligated to tip you for doing nothing other than that.
And let us not speak of the quality of what i may or may not swallow. --or maybe I will stop being lazy (and actually contribute to the blog) and write on that topic in particular.
.
“Alycia”, I am glad that you like your job. Keep on scoopin’. Just don't eat too much of that 14% cream concoction.
When I did go out into the world any eatery that had waitstaff or counterhelp singing/dancing was not on my list of go to places. If refusing to tip an employee for something I would prefer not to hear is cheap well tag me a miser then.
Perhaps they should reverse the policy and will stop singing if you do tip :)
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