The Rainbow Tour
There are some things that, no matter how hard I try to avoid hearing about the, I still find myself faced with. Today and for the next week or so it will be the Royal British tour of the United States.
The Royal family is like the Hiltons of the English Empire (It's still an Empire, just a much smaller one that the sun sets on regularly). There are a few notable differences in that the American version has the freedom of spending there money any way they see fit, where as the English government put the clamp down on royal spending as it was seen as an embarrassment. The European version are required to make public appearances, shake hands and entertain notables. The American version are required to get naked on video.
Anyway the purpose of this tour, from what information I seem to have gleaned on pure osmosis, is something to do with bolstering tourism back home. Apparently American dollars stopped flowing in after the bombings. I can't see why people are more scared to go there than they would be to any major U.S. destination. Just riding the Metra into the heart of our fair city of Chicago is enough to give me a serious case of the heebeegeebees(spelling?). The way I see it they've had their bombing. It's probably smooth sailing right now. It takes time to convince people that it is a good idea to blow themselves up. Kind of goes against that survival instinct.
So these royal people are on something like a week long tour of the United States. Exactly how much of the country can one see in that amount of time. Isn't that a bit hurried. I'd need a week just to hit the Smithsonian. And it's not like they have any really important functions back home that cant be put of indefinitely. Why not make it a real tour like a rock and roll show. Gut a bunch of busses ride from city to city. Booze it up. Dance. Mingle with the rich and famous. The standing and waving will still be there come December.
So until this dog and pony show ends all the regular news outlets have turned into their own version of entertainment weekly or people magazine. Look at what Camilla wore. See who attended the black tie event. Guess just how much money is being wasted in such a short period of time.
In summary I pray for the day ( in a wishy washy agnostic sort of way ) that we as a society will wake up and see that the Royals are not, in fact, important state figures, or even interesting celebrities.
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The Royal family is like the Hiltons of the English Empire (It's still an Empire, just a much smaller one that the sun sets on regularly). There are a few notable differences in that the American version has the freedom of spending there money any way they see fit, where as the English government put the clamp down on royal spending as it was seen as an embarrassment. The European version are required to make public appearances, shake hands and entertain notables. The American version are required to get naked on video.
Anyway the purpose of this tour, from what information I seem to have gleaned on pure osmosis, is something to do with bolstering tourism back home. Apparently American dollars stopped flowing in after the bombings. I can't see why people are more scared to go there than they would be to any major U.S. destination. Just riding the Metra into the heart of our fair city of Chicago is enough to give me a serious case of the heebeegeebees(spelling?). The way I see it they've had their bombing. It's probably smooth sailing right now. It takes time to convince people that it is a good idea to blow themselves up. Kind of goes against that survival instinct.
So these royal people are on something like a week long tour of the United States. Exactly how much of the country can one see in that amount of time. Isn't that a bit hurried. I'd need a week just to hit the Smithsonian. And it's not like they have any really important functions back home that cant be put of indefinitely. Why not make it a real tour like a rock and roll show. Gut a bunch of busses ride from city to city. Booze it up. Dance. Mingle with the rich and famous. The standing and waving will still be there come December.
So until this dog and pony show ends all the regular news outlets have turned into their own version of entertainment weekly or people magazine. Look at what Camilla wore. See who attended the black tie event. Guess just how much money is being wasted in such a short period of time.
In summary I pray for the day ( in a wishy washy agnostic sort of way ) that we as a society will wake up and see that the Royals are not, in fact, important state figures, or even interesting celebrities.
More Laters
posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 1:01 AM
1 Comments:
1) It's "heebie jeebies".
2) While I'm being a pedantic, little jerk; people don't learn by osmosis, even metaphorically. Osmosis takes place only in a liquid medium. You, Rich, have learned by diffusion.
3) I just looked up osmosis, to link in the definition above, when I discovered that your usage coincides with the usage in the dictionary. So, I guess I have to set the record straight by saying... the dictionary is also wrong.
4) The above is just a joke. I don't actually believe that I'm qualified to correct the dictionary, so nobody e-mail me to tell me how obnoxious I am.
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