Pre Vacation Jitters
So the one I call mom becomes a complete lunatic prior to holidays and vacations. The Christmas Crazies may be far off, but she and the old man are leaving today on a ten day tour of the emerald isle and she has had a serious case of the pre vacation jitters for over a week now.
People may think that seeing pictures or slides of another persons vacation may be one of the least interesting activities to participate in. There is a wrung lower on that ladder. There is the having to hear about just how excited one is about one's upcoming vacation and repeatedly having to hear descriptions of every aspect of the trip. The mom can't read small type anymore so there has been a ton of reading descriptions of areas out of travel guides and she had the old man looking up every hotel they are going to stay in on Expedia and Travelocity to get second and third opinions.
The Pre Vacation Jitters hit their peak last night, with the packing and the desperate search for a specific pair of jeans (you know the ones with the bleach stains) and some sort of terricloth shawl (you know the thing I wore to the beach). I had considered using my need to exercise to escape for an hour or so, but know that time would only extend her bedtime. I would not be avoiding the crazy woman so much as delaying the inevitable.
The only reason I am free at the moment is that the crazy one made the old man take her to church. Three simply would be no sitting on derriere in front of a computer otherwise. I might be enjoying myself.
The are a couple positive aspects of this trip. On one of there last days they swing through the Bushmills Distillery I have extracted a promise of a bottle of that glorious Irish whiskey, which I will either share in sips over an extended period or maybe share the bottle with the Shy in a one night booze extravaganza. (Though the logistics of that may be a bit difficult to work out).
Another wonderful thing about this trip, is that it is in essence, a vacation for me, from my family. People need these. Sure there are a list of chores ( water the lawn, change the cat litter, vacuum, mop, change all the bed sheets etc ...) and I fail in them, my father my remove my left testicle, or just beat me bloody with a billy club, but I'm fairly confident that I will enjoy my family respite none the less.
Only a couple hours left and they are on their way. And me with out the funds to get the celebratory strippers.
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People may think that seeing pictures or slides of another persons vacation may be one of the least interesting activities to participate in. There is a wrung lower on that ladder. There is the having to hear about just how excited one is about one's upcoming vacation and repeatedly having to hear descriptions of every aspect of the trip. The mom can't read small type anymore so there has been a ton of reading descriptions of areas out of travel guides and she had the old man looking up every hotel they are going to stay in on Expedia and Travelocity to get second and third opinions.
The Pre Vacation Jitters hit their peak last night, with the packing and the desperate search for a specific pair of jeans (you know the ones with the bleach stains) and some sort of terricloth shawl (you know the thing I wore to the beach). I had considered using my need to exercise to escape for an hour or so, but know that time would only extend her bedtime. I would not be avoiding the crazy woman so much as delaying the inevitable.
The only reason I am free at the moment is that the crazy one made the old man take her to church. Three simply would be no sitting on derriere in front of a computer otherwise. I might be enjoying myself.
The are a couple positive aspects of this trip. On one of there last days they swing through the Bushmills Distillery I have extracted a promise of a bottle of that glorious Irish whiskey, which I will either share in sips over an extended period or maybe share the bottle with the Shy in a one night booze extravaganza. (Though the logistics of that may be a bit difficult to work out).
Another wonderful thing about this trip, is that it is in essence, a vacation for me, from my family. People need these. Sure there are a list of chores ( water the lawn, change the cat litter, vacuum, mop, change all the bed sheets etc ...) and I fail in them, my father my remove my left testicle, or just beat me bloody with a billy club, but I'm fairly confident that I will enjoy my family respite none the less.
Only a couple hours left and they are on their way. And me with out the funds to get the celebratory strippers.
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posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 11:56 AM
6 Comments:
hmmmm. mopping, scooping cat poo, lawn care? i could do those things for a little taste of the good stuff.
Oooh, my sister's boyfriend is from Belfast, NI, and they toured the Emerald Island last time she went home with him, and 1. that whiskey is cheap (relatively), 2. that whiskey is divine.
Shy -- Heck I was considering jsut going out to the licker stanyhowore and picking one up though I would need drinking parters and smokes probably.
sweetpotatoe -- No guiness this trip. not like either of em would drink it. Heathens.
Portugese nova -- Yes the whiskey is divine, as I know all to well. It is at the root of many of most shame faced memories.
Good Lord, ask them to buy a case, after all, they buy a case of blue berries, why discriminate against whiskey?
smokes are the dangerous part. i can't do that or someone would be very very pissed at me and i'm not a good liar....but damn do i crave them...everyday.
The little brother keeps a secret stash of smokes here. I've almost been into em like three times now.
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