Bachelor Shower

So we had a post birth or welcome the baby to the world shower this past weekend because somehow we never got around to doing it before my niece arrived. The house was filled with family and friends I hadn't seen in a while, which is always nice. There was catered food. (The new healthy eating lifestyle took a break for a day. Note I did not say diet.) The house was awash in pepto bismo pink cutsie and rubber plastic practical. (Most of it is still sitting in the front room as both of the parents are essentially lazy).

At the shower, while conversing with some cousins and an aunt, I noted how I've reached an age where most people have married or had children or both, thereby raking in a tremendous amount of loot. (cash and prizes) I thought aloud that it would only be fair that I be allowed to have a Bachelor Lifestyle Shower. I like stuff too.

My cousins both thought this was a great idea and said they would most certainly make themselves available for an event like that. My aunt mentioned that half of my gifts would probably be bottles of booze. My cousins smiled. The knew a bit about my bartending years and certain expectations of the type of bash I would want had entered the minds.

The thing is this: I've done my drinking. I've done my partying. I've woken up on strange couches wondering where I was and why the in the world I felt so terrible. I've woken up feeling fine wondering where my hangover was only to realize I was still drunk and that I still had a hangover many hours in my future. I've pretty much done all I ever wanted to do in that regard and just the idea of a hangover and the accompanying shame (The shame not only of what stupid thing did I do last night but the memories of all past transgresions that come to the surface with that full body ache). This is no the party I had in mind.

I was thinking more of a summer picnic in the forest preserve. And while it has become the tradition to register for stuff before a shower I would be perfectly content to take whatever most people think I need. I bet a lot of it would be cash. I like cash. Maybe some books. Obligatory gag gifts (bald head deglosser, blow up dolls, idiots guide to whatever). Mine would not be a Bachelor Party celebrating the last day of single lifestyle but a day like many baby or bridal showers where people get together to eat food and open gifts. People would be encouraged to bring there single friends of course but really I'm in it for the stuff.

Now the question comes up: What if I get married at some later date? Well I think the new etiquette would be to treat that like a second wedding for gift giving purposes. Some people are on there second or third marriage by my age and lets just say I'm willing to forgo the fine china and the crystal I'd never use for a couple grand down on my outstanding student loans. (And maybe the next generation gaming platform when it comes out or a new computer of my very own!) I'm a generous man like that.

Waiting for stuff.