Praying For Wind
Horror of horrors a trip to the Local Social Security Administration.
They sprang it on me last minute. Apparently we misplaced baby girl's social security card at some point or another so it became our duty to rectify this error by making the trek to the circle of hell known as the Social Security administration.
First you walk in and there is a sign that directs you to the self check in computer. It says follow the blue roped off line. Except there is no one in this line and no one following the line. Everyone just walks straight to the computer. We follow the line and of course someone who came in after us jumped ahead of us.
The computer is a display that gives you three options and it only has a numeric keypad. You input one a number that corresponds to what you are there to do and a ticket with a number pops out of the machine.
So then its off the chairs. There are rows upon rows of padded chairs. Except the padding is 5 inches thick and hard so you cant lean back. You can't even really sit straight up unless you want to fight back against the padding these chairs are designed for short people to slouch forward in. They are also jammed next to each other so that the entire concept of personal space or leg room is eliminated.
Almost all of the chairs are occupied.
Our number is A167. There are three columns of numbers being called: A, B and just numeric. This is to confuse the people sitting in the chairs so they can look at each other and say, "Did he just say 67 go to window 26 or A167. The entire time we where at the office none of the "B" numbers were called. It made me wonder if the three numbering systems referred to the three check in priorities, or just to the three rows of windows or had some other mystic priority. Were all the "B" helpers out that day. Do "B" problems happen rarely. Its a mystery.
So we had A167 and the counter read a 155 when we walked in. This is to give you hope. We sat there for two and a half hours before hour number was called. They skipped around the numbers for some reason or another. Apparently A167 comes after A174, but before A166. Periodically people would be called by name. They had appointments and didn't need no stinking number. The bastards.
So not thinking about the days events I had a bowl of an oatmeal cereal (Quaker oat squares) before we left. I like oatmeal cereals. They taste pleasing to taste, leave me feeling full and are helpful in keeping me regular. The down side to oatmeal cereal is it makes me extremely gassy. After a bowl of oatmeal cereal I'm like a time bomb waiting to go off and when it happens its bad. I can clear a room.
So when we first get to the Social Security office, all I can think is, "I'm going to be ripping em left and right and someone will be forced to either ask me to leave or beat me violently. (It could go either way). I think this is going to be one of those hideously embarrassing moments of my life.
But then these people come in right after us and sit right behind us. They have a young girl child who is just at that vocal age, and she is very loud. The girl is bored. Rather than entertain her the people ignore the girl until she starts yelling. It is not just yelling, but repetitive yelling things like, "Mommy up! Mommy up!" or ,"Mommy wait! Mommy wait!" This tickled mommy and companion to no end. Every time the girl started screaming they started laughing. I don't know if they thought it was cute or if it would somehow get em faster service. After the first hour I had some choice things I wanted to say to Mommy.
I started to pray for the oatmeal cereal to kick in. I wasn't about to try and force anything. That puts one at serious risk of brownout. I just wasn't worried about the potential embarrassment anymore. I welcomed the fumes. I would relish them like a fine wine or a summer breeze.
Unfortunately the Gods of Wind saw fit to pass me bye. It was two and a half hours of screaming little girl and her giggling audience.
In Summary: Never ever loose your Social Security card if you know what is good for you.
More laters
They sprang it on me last minute. Apparently we misplaced baby girl's social security card at some point or another so it became our duty to rectify this error by making the trek to the circle of hell known as the Social Security administration.
First you walk in and there is a sign that directs you to the self check in computer. It says follow the blue roped off line. Except there is no one in this line and no one following the line. Everyone just walks straight to the computer. We follow the line and of course someone who came in after us jumped ahead of us.
The computer is a display that gives you three options and it only has a numeric keypad. You input one a number that corresponds to what you are there to do and a ticket with a number pops out of the machine.
So then its off the chairs. There are rows upon rows of padded chairs. Except the padding is 5 inches thick and hard so you cant lean back. You can't even really sit straight up unless you want to fight back against the padding these chairs are designed for short people to slouch forward in. They are also jammed next to each other so that the entire concept of personal space or leg room is eliminated.
Almost all of the chairs are occupied.
Our number is A167. There are three columns of numbers being called: A, B and just numeric. This is to confuse the people sitting in the chairs so they can look at each other and say, "Did he just say 67 go to window 26 or A167. The entire time we where at the office none of the "B" numbers were called. It made me wonder if the three numbering systems referred to the three check in priorities, or just to the three rows of windows or had some other mystic priority. Were all the "B" helpers out that day. Do "B" problems happen rarely. Its a mystery.
So we had A167 and the counter read a 155 when we walked in. This is to give you hope. We sat there for two and a half hours before hour number was called. They skipped around the numbers for some reason or another. Apparently A167 comes after A174, but before A166. Periodically people would be called by name. They had appointments and didn't need no stinking number. The bastards.
So not thinking about the days events I had a bowl of an oatmeal cereal (Quaker oat squares) before we left. I like oatmeal cereals. They taste pleasing to taste, leave me feeling full and are helpful in keeping me regular. The down side to oatmeal cereal is it makes me extremely gassy. After a bowl of oatmeal cereal I'm like a time bomb waiting to go off and when it happens its bad. I can clear a room.
So when we first get to the Social Security office, all I can think is, "I'm going to be ripping em left and right and someone will be forced to either ask me to leave or beat me violently. (It could go either way). I think this is going to be one of those hideously embarrassing moments of my life.
But then these people come in right after us and sit right behind us. They have a young girl child who is just at that vocal age, and she is very loud. The girl is bored. Rather than entertain her the people ignore the girl until she starts yelling. It is not just yelling, but repetitive yelling things like, "Mommy up! Mommy up!" or ,"Mommy wait! Mommy wait!" This tickled mommy and companion to no end. Every time the girl started screaming they started laughing. I don't know if they thought it was cute or if it would somehow get em faster service. After the first hour I had some choice things I wanted to say to Mommy.
I started to pray for the oatmeal cereal to kick in. I wasn't about to try and force anything. That puts one at serious risk of brownout. I just wasn't worried about the potential embarrassment anymore. I welcomed the fumes. I would relish them like a fine wine or a summer breeze.
Unfortunately the Gods of Wind saw fit to pass me bye. It was two and a half hours of screaming little girl and her giggling audience.
In Summary: Never ever loose your Social Security card if you know what is good for you.
More laters
posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 1:34 AM
2 Comments:
Mine has been lost for like 6 years now.
I have been married for two and still haven't changed my name as a result.
I have given up three times in my quest to have it replaced.
I hear ya'.
I give mommies 15 minutes before i intervene. While mommy usually chooses to yell at me about daring to say anything about raising her child, it tends to scare the kid into quiet sobbing.
I used the same rule at the library--child or no child. If after 15 minutes someone was still yammering loudly, I asked them to sit elsewhere--they were interuppting my learning environment (i was there first). If they got louder, i had them removed.
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