Crackpot Theory: The Friendly Pirate
So anyway, this past year I've watched more children's television shows than I have in all the years between now and when I was an age to be interested in Big Bird (Not counting cartoon network or sponge bob) and I've noticed a disturbing trend. What, one might ask, could possible be more disturbing than tele tubbies or a dancing purple dinosaur? The Friendly Pirate.
Piracy is not a quaint custom of the past. Pirates weren't Disney jolly fat man given to looking poorly groomed and drunk. Pirates of old were hated. The stole. (everything) The raped. (anyone) They murdered anyone who resisted, and sometimes those who didn't. Merchants couldn't afford to fully armed fleets. They had to try and build faster ships. If a ship was taken it wasn't just a small loss to a wealthy person, but could be the loss of a substantial investment of many parties, all of whom had dependents.
We don't hear much about modern piracy, mostly because the pirates stay away from U.S protected / monitored shipping lanes. Here is a report on Piracy in 2006. Notice the word deadly.
So why, one must ask, do these children shows try to use the image of the pirate? It has to be the clothes. Take Johnny Depp in the latest installment of the pirates of the Caribbean. He looks like a drag queen whose been in a couple fights.
Could it be that what these children's shows really want is flamboyant openly gay male of the fashion design world? This, of course, would never play in the more conservative parts of this great nation. Many of these shows are funded at least in part with government grants. There is no way Barney or Big Bird can hang out with and get a make over from Mr. Fabulously gay Man. Any man dressed up like that had better be a pirate, or carrying bag pipes.
So the Friendly Pirate is born and he just doesn't make sense. Where did that buried treasure come from? Why do they sail the seven seas? What do we do with the Jolly Roger, replace it with a Wal-Mart Happy face?
More Laters
Piracy is not a quaint custom of the past. Pirates weren't Disney jolly fat man given to looking poorly groomed and drunk. Pirates of old were hated. The stole. (everything) The raped. (anyone) They murdered anyone who resisted, and sometimes those who didn't. Merchants couldn't afford to fully armed fleets. They had to try and build faster ships. If a ship was taken it wasn't just a small loss to a wealthy person, but could be the loss of a substantial investment of many parties, all of whom had dependents.
We don't hear much about modern piracy, mostly because the pirates stay away from U.S protected / monitored shipping lanes. Here is a report on Piracy in 2006. Notice the word deadly.
So why, one must ask, do these children shows try to use the image of the pirate? It has to be the clothes. Take Johnny Depp in the latest installment of the pirates of the Caribbean. He looks like a drag queen whose been in a couple fights.
Could it be that what these children's shows really want is flamboyant openly gay male of the fashion design world? This, of course, would never play in the more conservative parts of this great nation. Many of these shows are funded at least in part with government grants. There is no way Barney or Big Bird can hang out with and get a make over from Mr. Fabulously gay Man. Any man dressed up like that had better be a pirate, or carrying bag pipes.
So the Friendly Pirate is born and he just doesn't make sense. Where did that buried treasure come from? Why do they sail the seven seas? What do we do with the Jolly Roger, replace it with a Wal-Mart Happy face?
More Laters
posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 2:53 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home