Crackpot Theory: The Wall
I've come the accept the reality that people are going to be more concerned with the illegals coming over the border than punishing businesses that employ them. I can rant all day about how companies pay wages that only the most desperate would accept(aka illegal immigrants) and people will still make the tired complaint (that was tired when the Irish came here, that was tired when the Italians came here) about people coming here and stealing away jobs from Americans. Now of course they can mutter security risk at the end of their argument.
So we are going to build a wall. Never mind the incredible irony of one President Ronald Reagan calling for a wall to be torn down. We want to keep the illegals out so a barrier must go up.
Now when I think of a nation spanning wall I think of the Great Wall of China. That is the right way to build a wall. Create a engineering marvel that can be seen from space and costs god awful mounts of money and more than a lifetime to build (a far cry from the 300 years spent making the great wall). People think we spend a lot of money now.
And here we find my crackpot theory. Make the wall pay for itself. Privatization is the current fad in government. Let some wall street types get a bunch of financing together and form The Wall LLC or something like that. How, one might ask, will this company make money? One word my friends: Advertising. Think the largest billboard in the united states, in the world! Of course to make big bucks they will need high tech stuff. There will be shiny signs that can change message on a moments notice. They will need giant plasma screen walls that will make old school drive in movie theaters look small. We can tell the illegal immigrant that while he and his family aren't welcome here, for just a few pesos they can drown their sorrows with can barley flavored alcoholic beverage, a can prefered by movie stars and super models.
Why have a simple prison like set of fences and barbed wires when we can have a Godzilla sized starbucks symbol and maybe even make the roads crossing in and out of the country into giant golden arches. Picture characters from the latest Disney animated feature walking up and down a quarter mile section of the plasma wall. Picture some vindictive jerk getting two months of (Insert Name Here) is a cheating Whore on a slightly out of the way section of the wall.
This wall could be so financially successful that we would almost have to build a second one along the border with Canada, just for the added revenue. This is our future.
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So we are going to build a wall. Never mind the incredible irony of one President Ronald Reagan calling for a wall to be torn down. We want to keep the illegals out so a barrier must go up.
Now when I think of a nation spanning wall I think of the Great Wall of China. That is the right way to build a wall. Create a engineering marvel that can be seen from space and costs god awful mounts of money and more than a lifetime to build (a far cry from the 300 years spent making the great wall). People think we spend a lot of money now.
And here we find my crackpot theory. Make the wall pay for itself. Privatization is the current fad in government. Let some wall street types get a bunch of financing together and form The Wall LLC or something like that. How, one might ask, will this company make money? One word my friends: Advertising. Think the largest billboard in the united states, in the world! Of course to make big bucks they will need high tech stuff. There will be shiny signs that can change message on a moments notice. They will need giant plasma screen walls that will make old school drive in movie theaters look small. We can tell the illegal immigrant that while he and his family aren't welcome here, for just a few pesos they can drown their sorrows with can barley flavored alcoholic beverage, a can prefered by movie stars and super models.
Why have a simple prison like set of fences and barbed wires when we can have a Godzilla sized starbucks symbol and maybe even make the roads crossing in and out of the country into giant golden arches. Picture characters from the latest Disney animated feature walking up and down a quarter mile section of the plasma wall. Picture some vindictive jerk getting two months of (Insert Name Here) is a cheating Whore on a slightly out of the way section of the wall.
This wall could be so financially successful that we would almost have to build a second one along the border with Canada, just for the added revenue. This is our future.
More Laters
posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 3:27 AM
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