Crackpot Theory: Kurt Loder
Ok so I'm checking out the news on google news the other day and I scroll down to the entertainment section (on my way to the section that list other important news items) and Imagine my shock to see a news story by Kurt Loder of MTV News.
Actually there were two different kinds of shock going on at the same time. The first shock is that Google News would use MTV as source of legitimate news. I mean sure it is only the entertainment section, but that is kind of like going to British Petroleum and for hard breaking news in the oil industry. MTV is the Branding of celebrity itself. I can't see em being particularly objective about their sources of revenue.
The cynic in me stamped out that bit of shock in moments. Viacom (the MTV parent company) used to be merged with CBS which is a leader in providing broadcast news (as well as regular commercial television) If they can sell me something that is supposed to be news, then why cant MTV?
The Second shock was that Kurt Loder still works for MTV. Holy Unnatural Longevity Batman. This network goes through people faster than a chef can go through an eightball of coke. (Yes that is a terrible generalization. Sue me.) Their flagship show TRL (Total Request Live) can not make it through a three minute music video because they have been so successful in shortening the attention span of their target audience (screaming pre teens). The moment one of their Video Jockey's shows the first hint of age they are out the door. Carson Daly Had one of the longer lasting careers at MTV. He went from 1997 - 2003. Six whole years or a teenage eternity.
Kurt Loder has been there since 1988.
So my question is, "What gives this man this unnatural longevity?"
Theory A: Supernatural Pact. (with a devil, demon, genie, Dr. Strange). Traditionally these things have round numbers. If he bargained for 20 years he could be almost out of time. If he had the bargaining skills of Dick Clark He could be good for another 30. His soul would of course be forfeit at the end of the time, but he worked for MTV so that was a given anyway.
Theory B: MTV political Savant. Loder knows the way the network is going even before the network executives who make the decisions do. His keen powers of observation keep him always on top of the most current trends. CEO's come and go, but Loder Remains.
Theory C: Blackmail. Loder has major dirt on every decision maker even loosely associated with MTV. People live in constant dread of the day when the Secret Kurt Loder files are mailed out to every major news outlet. Their only hope is to pre decease Loder.
Theory D: Continuity. Sure everything else changes on MTV. Some executive terrified of the constant change that is his universe has insulated one man to serve as the thing that never changes about MTV. The stars come and go, but the man who tells you who they is always the same.
I personally think like the blackmail theory the best. Imagine being the only sober person "reporting" at Hollywood entertainment events. Dude must know where all the skeletons are buried.
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Actually there were two different kinds of shock going on at the same time. The first shock is that Google News would use MTV as source of legitimate news. I mean sure it is only the entertainment section, but that is kind of like going to British Petroleum and for hard breaking news in the oil industry. MTV is the Branding of celebrity itself. I can't see em being particularly objective about their sources of revenue.
The cynic in me stamped out that bit of shock in moments. Viacom (the MTV parent company) used to be merged with CBS which is a leader in providing broadcast news (as well as regular commercial television) If they can sell me something that is supposed to be news, then why cant MTV?
The Second shock was that Kurt Loder still works for MTV. Holy Unnatural Longevity Batman. This network goes through people faster than a chef can go through an eightball of coke. (Yes that is a terrible generalization. Sue me.) Their flagship show TRL (Total Request Live) can not make it through a three minute music video because they have been so successful in shortening the attention span of their target audience (screaming pre teens). The moment one of their Video Jockey's shows the first hint of age they are out the door. Carson Daly Had one of the longer lasting careers at MTV. He went from 1997 - 2003. Six whole years or a teenage eternity.
Kurt Loder has been there since 1988.
So my question is, "What gives this man this unnatural longevity?"
Theory A: Supernatural Pact. (with a devil, demon, genie, Dr. Strange). Traditionally these things have round numbers. If he bargained for 20 years he could be almost out of time. If he had the bargaining skills of Dick Clark He could be good for another 30. His soul would of course be forfeit at the end of the time, but he worked for MTV so that was a given anyway.
Theory B: MTV political Savant. Loder knows the way the network is going even before the network executives who make the decisions do. His keen powers of observation keep him always on top of the most current trends. CEO's come and go, but Loder Remains.
Theory C: Blackmail. Loder has major dirt on every decision maker even loosely associated with MTV. People live in constant dread of the day when the Secret Kurt Loder files are mailed out to every major news outlet. Their only hope is to pre decease Loder.
Theory D: Continuity. Sure everything else changes on MTV. Some executive terrified of the constant change that is his universe has insulated one man to serve as the thing that never changes about MTV. The stars come and go, but the man who tells you who they is always the same.
I personally think like the blackmail theory the best. Imagine being the only sober person "reporting" at Hollywood entertainment events. Dude must know where all the skeletons are buried.
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posted by Rich Rosenthal II at 2:31 AM
4 Comments:
I wonder the same.
you would never see a woman around that long. Who started with him? Martha Quinn? Downtown Julie Brown? Duff? Where are they?
You answered your own question. The fact you didn't know, and even more surprised to learn, that he still worked for MTV is because he's been lurking in the shadows - away from the attentionless masses.
There are probably at least several people over 30 (or 60 in his case) at MTV... on the other side of the camera.
he bathes in the blood of babies
Or another way to look at it - how sad that he never made it any further than MTV news.
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